Hellbound Books' Anthology of Splatterpunk by Various

GREETINGS STACK WORMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodreads says I finished this in a week but it actually only took 4 days. I read Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Why? Because I work the other days and I'm pretty tired after my shift. So, it always looks like I take longer than I actually do. This time I read Hellbound Books' Anthology of Splatterpunk. Again, I thank HBB for providing me the free ebook to review and for partnering with me! 

I really love the artwork on this cover! I won't tell you which story it goes with (at least by my guess) because that would be spoiling the story and I haven't warned you about spoilers yet. That would be very rude of me. There are a whopping 24 stories in this anthology. And I like a lot of them I think. Not many two-stars and three out of five means I enjoyed the read. Just like last time this review will be a bit different and probably much longer than usual with 24 stories to go through. But I hope you enjoy. Let's get going! 

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duh...

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-I think it should go without saying that this is extremely bloody

-Gore

-Viscera

-Shit (like poop)

-Swearing (duh, grow up)

-death lots of death (no grandma death thankfully)

-animal death (automatically lose a star)

-Implied rape

-Suicide

-Piss 

-Snuff 

-BDSM

-Wasps 

-Vomit 

-Drugs

-Murder 

-Filicide (look it up)

-Okay there is a lot of fucked up shit in here so blanket trigger warning. Alright? Let's move on. Also, this is just my opinion, and seeing as it's my blog I get to write it how I want. If I say anything that's a trigger for you get the fuck off my blog. 

Splatterpunk - A literary genre characterized by the explicit description of horrific, violent, or pornographic scenes. Sometimes all.  

Behind the Tumble by Nick Clements 

Two cops on duty answer a call of some kids making a raucous on the beach. When they arrive there is a smoldering fire and a mermaid, but no kids...wait, mermaid? Yep, and she's the type that eats humans. And she eats one of the cops, driving the other one to never touch the ocean again. 

I'm on the mermaid's side here. ACAB. Again, not much going on but the blood and guts got us started. 3/5

Black Easter by Carlton Herzog 

Elder God worm takes over people's minds and makes them fuck, kill, etc. Ok, they're not really gods just super advanced worms that enter through one's anus. Eventually, the gov't gets a whiff of them and tries to take them down. But seeing as they can actively change their host's physical body that's kind of hard to do. 

I like the idea of "god-like" worms! And I liked the worm in the MC we got to know, she's my kind of gal. However, this is a case of there being a lot going on and not having time. I wanted there to be more and it abruptly stops at a very weird part in the story. 3/5

Continuing Education by NJ Gallegos 

Dude targets women at a park to rape and kill them. This time he picks the wrong girl. She teaches him a thing or two about torture before killing him. This is not her first rodeo and she does it in the name of her dead twin sister. 

Solid. The wasps up the ass got me to cringe because I am allergic to wasps, but not to bees so it's vice versa then in the story. The motivation for the girl was believable, though I think the guy cracked too soon. But meh. 4/5

Egg by Scotty Milder 

This story is about drug/gun runner Dale and his once beautiful Brynn, who wakes up sick that morning but Dale can't deal with that now he's got a job to do. When he gets home he finds that Brynn laid an egg. He thinks she's a monster and decides to dispose of the egg and then a shadow is born from the egg and tears Dale apart. Then joins his shadow creature- Brynn once more. 

I liked the flashback scene it was nice to see what Brynn had been like before she was consumed by the shadow creature. The end did feel a little lackluster but deserved. 4/5

Ends to Meat by Steve Stark

Davey, a barkeep, doesn't like Vernon Mills. A regular at the bar he works at. Davey was hired by a mafia boss to run the bar but now that boss wants Davey dead and hires Vernon to do so. Vernon does the job and tries to feed Davey to his rat friends but instead, they go after Vernon first possessed by the ghosts of his victims. So, he's dead. 

I really liked Davey and it was so fun to read him kick Vernon's ass before his death. I was sad to see him die. But good job rats on killing Vernon. 5/5

The Eulogy by Frederick Pangbourne

A rich bitch mother sacrifices her two spoiled sons to the demon Asmodeus at a funeral. 

That's the gist of it and BULLSHIT! Sure Asmodeus is a demon but he is literally the Prince demon of LUST!! At least have it be a sex ritual or something along the lines of a blood orgy! Come on! Missed fucking opportunity. For shame. 2/5

Genital Sandwich by Cristalena Fury

A truck driver picks up a cute girl and after a few days of getting to know each other finds out the girl was raped by one of her disgusting bosses. So, they find the boss and torture him to death by feeding him his own grilled cock. 

Basic but fun. Good detail about the smell of the cooking dick. Thank you for that. I will neither confirm nor deny if it was accurate. 3/5

Memoirs of a Southern Fried Son of a Bitch by Amber Willis

Dude getting charged with a murder he didn't commit. Which doesn't matter because he ate the body. And he did commit the murder of his mother. An abusive cunt that deserved her death. No, I'm not taking that back. All because the guy liked to cook. I'll spare you my parents are dicks spiel. 

So, the cannibalism is sort of hinted at but not really. Kinda comes out of left field for me. However, I will harp on something that bugged me. IT'S FUCKING VENOM!! NOT POISON!! And if you're going to use a fucking copperhead to kill in a story do some fucking research. There are only 1 in 20 deaths every 4 years by copperheads. This was not an effective way of trying to kill! But Bug, the dude may not know that. Bitch! If you live around venomous snakes you best know this shit. 2/5

Snowman's Land by Kenneth Amenn 

The MC's name is H but we find out later that it's Howard. Ooook? Anyway, H is going to live with his sister-in-law and nephew. Only to arrive during a snowstorm that spawns killer transdimensional snowmen. They make it out alive though. 

Wasn't much point in this one it feels like. Not much gore or death. And it feels like the main character is there for like no reason. This could have been from the sister-in-law's pov and would have been a better story. 2/5

Take a Breath by Erica Summers

Larry has been fired. So, to clear his head he goes surfing. He thinks it's nice to get Premo waves by himself but finds out that wasn't so good. He gets hurt really bad and drowns. Just like his Sarah did in the bathtub. Why is it always Sarah? I need to start a Sarah's Dead count. 

Simple but that's not always a bad thing. This was a surprisingly deep read. I'm not sure it was the healthiest read with my mentality. But I liked our MC and the writing. 5/5

The Chainsaw Masquerade by Allie Guilderson 

Travis is alone on Halloween. His wife has left him. Good thing she did too. He's a controlling abusive asshole. Especially, since he stalks his wife to a Halloween party, kidnaps her (after killing her sister with a chainsaw), and sets himself and her on fire once he gets her back to his house. 

I don't like the fact that Travis won. But that's how it is sometimes. I feel really bad for Andie, she didn't deserve what she got. However, good story, gore, and writing. 4/5

The Contest by Cory Andrews 

Sadie works at a saloon kitchen and enters a chili cooking contest. She wins second place, and first place went to Gus Harper a cannibal. And yes, the meat in his chili is people. He kidnaps Sadie but with some help from Woody, she kills the cannibal family and gets a promotion. 

This story made me so FUCKING hungry! OMGodzilla! I wanted chili so bad after this. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat Sadie's chili I would die but damn if it didn't sound yummy. Good story, I really got a kick out of this one. 5/5

The Contract by Andrew P. Weston 

Demon goes to collect on a contract made by James Jameson Jackson III or TJ as he's known by his clients. See TJ is a drug dealer a rich one at that. Thanks to Mr. Daystar. So, Demon sends TJ to hell when he agrees to a contract that is made of his own flesh. 

The demon was fun. Good quips and great detail. The only thing I can complain about is Demon doesn't like Dolly Parton. 4/5

The Extremely Polite Vivisection of Kevin Gray by Shula Link

Mad Scientist Dr. Valencia Asphodel and Bramble (a darkling) operate on Kevin Gray, trying to perfect a regeneration serum. Unfortunately, this test blows up in their face, literally. They clean up and go about their night with a romantic-ish dinner. 

This was actually adorable. The relationship (platonic or non-platonic not sure) between Valencia and Bramble is amazing. However, the guy's first name is only mentioned once and it's Kyle. So, is the title a typo, or is the name in the story a typo? Is it Kyle or Kevin? Despite the fact that I'll never know I give this story 5/5

The Kingdom of Blood and Miracles by Carlton Herzog 

A man is telling a kid a story about a kingdom that suffered a plague and how trolls helped cure it but then started to do very naughty things. Upsetting the great and powerful Archimedes son of the All-Father! And he takes vengeance by imprisoning them forever. 

So, Herzog gets two stories in this anthology? Hm. I hated this story. Way too much exposition for a short story and it was a little hard to follow at times. This author is literally wasted potential he writes amazingly but his stories are convoluted yet don’t seem to connect in any way. As if very little thought was put into them. I guess I'm the only one that thinks so though. *sigh* That's two out of three stories I've read of his that I've absolutely hated. 2/5

The Pearl in a Cup by DW Milton

Meredith James has a rather rough life. She has to take care of her ailing mother and is bullied at her job. All she wants is some relief and finds it when an old woman tells her about taking a bath with a resolved pearl added to it. Three times she does this and imagines performing for a crowd killing off her boss and the assistant manager. The last one she fantasizes about making love to her crush. The only problem is, is when she takes these pearl baths she becomes foam and on the third bath her mother unplugs the bath sending her daughter down the drain. 

This is a rather sad story. Meredith doesn't know she's really killing her bosses and who can say they haven't dreamt of murdering a boss or two? So, I don't really see how she has done wrong. Yet, it feels as if the world is punishing her for just wanting some kind of stress release. Despite, that this is a good story. Well written and I feel for Meredith. 4/5

The Rat King by Brent Bosworth 

An alcoholic ex-vet, Phil, is given a second chance with his family. Thanks to an all-powerful being. In exchange he wants Phil to kill the old lady that was nice to him and supported him after becoming homeless. He indeed does this, but he's caught by the cops and his family. Phil is mocked by the all-powerful being for being exactly like Phil thought of himself. A Rat King. 

Never ever trust an all-powerful being. Just don't. This was an okay story. It didn't leave much of an impression on me. 3/5

The Wolfmother by JD Fuller 

A town is unknowingly plagued by shapeshifters and Eldritch Gods. And they kill each other off but only after they've scarred the town.

So, I liked the story but the framing didn't really work for me. I also didn't understand the title. 3/5

The Tishomingo Terror by Robert Allen

A gunfighter, Thomas Barrett was hired to kill a little shit that just got a gun from his daddy, by an old friend from the war. After the job is done though, said friend hires some bar slums to murder and rob Barrett. While Barrett is hurt, he's alive and seeks revenge. He takes out two of the three bar slums and his friend. Then he's nursed back to health (sort of) by the town mayor/doctor/dentist. 

Not much to say about this one. Good typical Western. 3/5

Undone by C.M. Noel

This is the mind during the process of becoming a zombie. At first, he thinks that the doctors made him like this then remembers his wife attacking him. And he starts to crave blood and flesh. Security and cops try to take him down but they shoot everything but his head and the zombie escapes the hospital. 

Does nobody know what a zombie is? SHOOT HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD!! Ugh. This is why I hate zombie media. I guess the twist of the MC being the zombie is done alright. And it's a quick read but still. The story was meh for me. 3/5

Victim by Julian Grant 

Kyle wants to play a game. A game that lets you kill people gruesomely. And you "win" this game by making your victim last the longest. Kyle, this incel wannabe bad boy, however, becomes phase two of this game. Kids. 

I cheered when this little shit got his. I'm not sure if he was really killed or not. I think I missed a detail in there somewhere but it's good he was the first kid to go. Though I wanted to read his death. It spent too much time on making Kyle a little shit and not enough on him getting his comeuppance. 2/5

You by Jay Sykes 

Okay, basically, the plot is our family gets killed by a big head corporation because we were trying to bring them down. So, we get revenge by killing randos at one of the corporation's buildings. Not even sure if this is the one with the dude that killed our family. Thankfully though, we are gifted the man, as a hiring incentive by a hot elfin chick.  

I hate second person pov. Ugh. The reason is, I cannot put myself in the person's shoes. I have too strong of a sense of self that I cannot let go like that. Also, this person is dumb as shit. Though I totally would have been like "Hire me, Mommy. Hurt me."  No, I'm not joking. My girlfriend laughed when she heard me say this out loud. 2/5

You Saw It in the Woods by Phil Williams

We are picked up by a bunch of college backpackers on summer vaca. They found us wandering around with no memory. We get lost in the woods and find a cabin. Guess what we do? We go into the cabin and get attacked by some type of fiend that kills everyone but us. We fight off the monster, though it doesn't seem like it wants to fight us, and get away in the backpacker's car. But we start to feel sleepy. No! We have to stay awake and remember! Right? 

Two in a fucking row!? Really? Ugh. I enjoyed this one a little more because of my headcanon. We are actually compelled to bring backpackers to the cabin so that the monster can feed. We lose our memories so that we can make all the wrong decisions and be convincing as well. That also explains why the monster never really attacks us, only the backpackers. Even that once when it seemed like the monster jumped on us it was because one of the backpacker's bodies was covering us up. That's it I have it all figured out. 4/5

P.S. I still don’t like second-person pov because I don’t like being cast as a dumbass making decisions that I absolutely would not make. 

Now for the coup de grâce: 

Snuffed: Fifty Shades of F****d Up by James H Longmore 

Barry our BDSM aficionado is busy watching a real snuff film. He's been searching for it for years. It's a very old film on VHS. And just when it's getting to the really good part his girlfriend, Kimberley, arrives. She's early. But he lets that slide seeing as he's super excited to show her his favorite film. He's been training her in the ways of BDSM for six months so he could show her this movie. Eventually, wanting her to allow him to play out the film with her being the victim. They watch the snuff together and as they're getting to the end Kimberley is starting to act a bit off. Barry cuts his finger while fingering her and watches as she starts to fall apart right before his eyes. She is the victim in the snuff film, which he has never watched to the very end when the gimp mask was removed so he had no idea that his girlfriend (who he's been fucking) has been a ghost the entire time. This drives him insane and he is found cuddling her severed head. 

WHOOO! Now that's what I'm fucking talking about! Also, what is it with me and ghost sex? Oh, shit! Is this becoming a kink? Oh, no! Anyway, this had great build-up and payoff. Some sexy times. Fantastically written gore. And since you made it this far I'll let you in on a little secret, this is the cover story. Surprise! Neh, if you read this you probably figured it out. 5/5

So, when HBB reached out asking me to review this anthology I was all of the hells yes. I love horror! And the fact that the gore is amped up with Splatterpunk how could I say no? I actually saw this being advertised in one of HBB's tweets and I silently begged that I'd get an email about it. If you couldn't tell I really did enjoy this set. I gave it 4 stars on Goodreads. Though, if I'm being completely honest, I could have used some more gore. 😝

Great book. You can tell which stories I liked best. Other than that I don't have much else to say. 

Here is today's song Blood by In This Moment: 

Did you like the review? Have you read it? Did you like it? What were your thoughts on the stories? Were there ones that I liked that you didn't or vice versa? Please comment below to let me know and as always constructive criticism is welcome. 

Toodles!!

-Bug